Just Stop It

This is not the normal post, it’s not (specifically) about domestic violence, but I want to give one piece of advice to all parents out there —

Stop judging yourself so harshly.

Stop setting your expectations so high that they are impossible to reach.

Stop believing you have to be perfect at everything you attempt.

Stop worrying so much about your children and how you are raising them.

Do you love your kids? Are you providing them with an education, healthy food, your love and time? Are you doing your best to make good decisions for them? Are you choosing your child’s best interests over your own? Are you choosing healthy and appropriate discipline? Are you protecting them from the evils in the world?

Then you are doing a good job! You are being a great parent. The rest is the small stuff.

Your child won’t be ruined if they start school at 6 instead of 4, neither will they be ruined if they start at 4 instead of 6. Homeschool is just as good as institutionalized schools. A single parent who loves their child and protects them is better than a child with 2 parents in an abusive home. Two parents who work and struggle through a difficult relationship to give their child a secure family is also a great choice.

We make decisions every day. My choice doesn’t have to be the same as your choice – yet both choices can be the right ones. You don’t have to copy my life, or your neighbours, or your parents, or your friends. You get to live your own life and to write your own story. You can change your mind if you find the first choice isn’t working out as well as you thought it would.

Spend some time on self-care for you. It will help the children when you help yourself.

It’s okay.

You can do this.