Let’s Talk Isolation

Isolation seems like an obvious warning sign of abuse, and yet it is commonly ignored and missed. Frequently it is believed to be choice of the victim (even by the victim), and not a symptom of abuse, but it is a symptom of abuse.   Why is isolation a symptom of abuse? The abuser does…Read more Let’s Talk Isolation

Who’s Abused?

Recently, on Facebook, a question was posed about what factors contributed to women needing to leave a marriage and not have resources to be able to do so. Most of the answers showed that the common belief, is that women have a lack of education (i.e. career to fall back on), and they got married…Read more Who’s Abused?

Is It Normal?

In many abusive relationships, the abuser is a fabulous person. They can be: fun to be with hard workers great parents supportive friends always helpful volunteer or work at church active in the community publicly affectionate verbally supportive quick with jokes eager to always be with their partner Right up until the moment they aren't.…Read more Is It Normal?

Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

The number 1 tool of abusers is isolation. The reason why it is the most used form and usually one of the first forms of abuse is two-fold. First, isolation keeps her feeding off of him. He sets himself up to provide her with her basic needs, emotional needs and define what she should think […]…Read more Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

When Abuse Looks Like Love

But they were so much in love! How could there be abuse? Abuse hides behind legitimate, loving actions. (Please remember that abusers can be either male or female!) He enjoys her company, so can't stand to be apart from her He loves her so much, he doesn't want to share her time with others He values…Read more When Abuse Looks Like Love

Know Yourself

It's far too common for victims and survivors of abuse to doubt their memories and experiences. It's as if the horror of abuse is too much for us to fully grasp and own. This is especially true for children who are abused. An abused child often has holes in their memory, for a child who…Read more Know Yourself

Projection

How do you feel? Is it okay for you to feel that way? An abuser will answer no, it doesn't matter how you feel. The only time emotions matter with an abuser is when it is their emotions. My ex took this concept to a new level. He didn't restrict his projection to just emotions,…Read more Projection