Future Planning

Very often I hear of people talking about "knowing your Why", and setting goals - long-term and short-term. This has been challenging for me. I'm learning, now, how to do these things. I'm testing the waters, building life goals, recognizing my personal "why's". Not everyone knows how to do these things, yet too many assume…Read more Future Planning

Breaking Point

What does it take to stop domestic violence? It takes a breaking point. When someone finally leaves an abusive relationship, it is always because they reached their breaking point. This can be something small, like the straw that broke the camels back, that one final act that was just too much. Or, it can be…Read more Breaking Point

I wish… by anonymous

This was shared by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. It's a hard topic to discuss, but I think it's important. Does this mean she hasn't forgiven him? Is there something wrong with her? I welcome your feedback. ================================================= I watched a movie tonight in which an abusive ex-husband was portrayed. It was hard to…Read more I wish… by anonymous

Let’s Talk Isolation

Isolation seems like an obvious warning sign of abuse, and yet it is commonly ignored and missed. Frequently it is believed to be choice of the victim (even by the victim), and not a symptom of abuse, but it is a symptom of abuse.   Why is isolation a symptom of abuse? The abuser does…Read more Let’s Talk Isolation

Who’s Abused?

Recently, on Facebook, a question was posed about what factors contributed to women needing to leave a marriage and not have resources to be able to do so. Most of the answers showed that the common belief, is that women have a lack of education (i.e. career to fall back on), and they got married…Read more Who’s Abused?

Is It Normal?

In many abusive relationships, the abuser is a fabulous person. They can be: fun to be with hard workers great parents supportive friends always helpful volunteer or work at church active in the community publicly affectionate verbally supportive quick with jokes eager to always be with their partner Right up until the moment they aren't.…Read more Is It Normal?

Second Chances?

When I left my abusive marriage, it was strongly recommended I give him a second chance. Of course, over the course of our marriage, there were many second chances. Those chances, those attempts to save the marriage, the desperate pleas were unseen by others outside the relationship. I didn't share with people how things truly…Read more Second Chances?

Saving Abusive Marriage?

This post is about what I think about saving, or even trying to save an abusive marriage. It's my opinion. My perspective. Make of it what you will. Can an abusive marriage be saved? I've heard it can happen. I think it's possible IF the following happen: The abuse is recognized in the beginning of…Read more Saving Abusive Marriage?

Is Some Abuse Deserved?

The short answer is NO. To be clear, I'm emphatic, non-negotiable, and certain about my opinion on this matter. There is no such thing as "deserved" abuse. Now, there are relationships where the abuse victim finally stands up for themselves and strikes back -- that's called self-defense. And, there are relationships in which there appears…Read more Is Some Abuse Deserved?

Consequences and Accountability

Today's post might be a bit of a rant, but it's what's on my mind, so I hope you bear with me... and I welcome courteous conversation if you want to comment. I talk a lot about the effects of abuse. I've talked about forgiveness, moving on and I've talked a bit about never going…Read more Consequences and Accountability