Has it really been 5 months since I last posted here?! 2018 is flying past. I can't sleep. I've been struggling with insomnia for weeks, months now. If I wasn't so exhausted, it would be laughable. I can barely keep my eyes open, but when I close them, my mind just keeps spinning... I feel…Read more Sleepless
I've been filled with anxiety lately. There are so many reasons I could be, and even should be, anxious. Finances, children, new diagnosis, Christmas, friendships, family, Christmas, weather .... I don't like having anxiety. It annoys me. As my anxiety rises, I feel like I'm failing at everything: housekeeping, parenting, personal goals, finances, friendships. I…Read more An Anxious Christmas
I'm great at building walls. I've become very good at keeping everybody at arms length. I feel very alone. I'm learning to include people in my life again. Abuse victims/survivors have many steps to healing. Sometimes those steps include trusting too easily, which leads to being hurt. Then, they swing the other way to not trust…Read more I Don’t Have to be Alone
Today was a challenging day. It's been 7 years since my separation and I am trying to get the divorce finalized... to be finally, fully, legally free from him. Today we had a mediation meeting at court. Basically we need to settle the financial (child support) portion before we can finalize the divorce. It didn't go…Read more Some days ….
People don't see my struggles with mental health. Sometimes, I don't even recognize I'm in the midst of a struggle. I realize it when I get cranky and irritable with my children. I see it when my house disintegrates into a disaster zone. I feel it when I can't sleep or when I can't wake…Read more Invisible Struggles
It takes such a little thing to trigger a memory. Some are attached to music, others to actions, and more to words. This is all great and good when it is happy, peaceful, positive memories that show up unannounced... it's not so great when those memories are closer to nightmarish events. For example, when I…Read more Memories
My child is sick... it's just a common, every day illness - sore throat, fever. It's causing crankiness, irritability, exhaustion and whining. My anxiety rises. They are supposed to go to their father's for an overnight visit tomorrow, and already he has made comments about the sickness. "Oh no, it's our overnight visit this weekend".…Read more Anxiety out of … nothing