I Don’t Have to be Alone

I'm great at building walls. I've become very good at keeping everybody at arms length. I feel very alone. I'm learning to include people in my life again. Abuse victims/survivors have many steps to healing. Sometimes those steps include trusting too easily, which leads to being hurt. Then, they swing the other way to not trust…Read more I Don’t Have to be Alone

The Importance of Rest

We need to rest. We are commanded to rest. We neglect rest. Rest is not just getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Rest is taking time away from our normal routines, setting aside a significant amount of time and space to regroup for the coming challenges, to recover from past battles. I am reminded recently,…Read more The Importance of Rest

Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.

I read this post on Facebook today: My parents were apparently abusive to me when I was a kid. They made me do household jobs, go to school. gave me a curfew and smacked my backside when I did wrong. They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it- They put…Read more Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.

Things My Abuser Taught Me

While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me

It Takes Two

To an abusers mind, they are not to blame for anything that goes wrong and thus they are not responsible for fixing any problem in their life or relationships. This puts the onus of marital repair on their victim. This mentality is encouraged by a number of things... most marriage self-help books are written to women.…Read more It Takes Two

He Said / She Said

One of the reasons it is difficult to break the silence is because of the lies an abuser spreads regarding their partner. While the campaign to malign your character begins long before the relationship ends, the abuser also continues it long afterwards and will work extra hard to convince professionals and your community that you…Read more He Said / She Said