Second Chances?

When I left my abusive marriage, it was strongly recommended I give him a second chance. Of course, over the course of our marriage, there were many second chances. Those chances, those attempts to save the marriage, the desperate pleas were unseen by others outside the relationship. I didn't share with people how things truly…Read more Second Chances?

Saving Abusive Marriage?

This post is about what I think about saving, or even trying to save an abusive marriage. It's my opinion. My perspective. Make of it what you will. Can an abusive marriage be saved? I've heard it can happen. I think it's possible IF the following happen: The abuse is recognized in the beginning of…Read more Saving Abusive Marriage?

Consequences and Accountability

Today's post might be a bit of a rant, but it's what's on my mind, so I hope you bear with me... and I welcome courteous conversation if you want to comment. I talk a lot about the effects of abuse. I've talked about forgiveness, moving on and I've talked a bit about never going…Read more Consequences and Accountability

I Don’t Have to be Alone

I'm great at building walls. I've become very good at keeping everybody at arms length. I feel very alone. I'm learning to include people in my life again. Abuse victims/survivors have many steps to healing. Sometimes those steps include trusting too easily, which leads to being hurt. Then, they swing the other way to not trust…Read more I Don’t Have to be Alone

The Importance of Rest

We need to rest. We are commanded to rest. We neglect rest. Rest is not just getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Rest is taking time away from our normal routines, setting aside a significant amount of time and space to regroup for the coming challenges, to recover from past battles. I am reminded recently,…Read more The Importance of Rest

Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.

I read this post on Facebook today: My parents were apparently abusive to me when I was a kid. They made me do household jobs, go to school. gave me a curfew and smacked my backside when I did wrong. They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it- They put…Read more Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.

Things My Abuser Taught Me

While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me