The Love of a Child

Here is the thing about children. They love their parents unconditionally. A child yearns for the love of both their parents. The children of abusive parents have a very difficult time of it. They also love their parents regardless of any abuse, pain or separation. They want to be loved in return. We need the…Read more The Love of a Child

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A New Life Plan

Dec 26 is the anniversary of the day I left my abusive marriage. It's a bittersweet day. There is sorrow for the loss of the dreams and hopes of a lifelong marriage, it was the end of my "life plan". Mostly, it is a day of relief, of promised peace, and freedom from abuse for…Read more A New Life Plan

Who’s Being Protected?

When we divorce with children, there is, justifiably, much concern about bad-talking the other parent to the children. The problem arises in an abusive relationship when the other parent is continuing to hurt the children and we shy away from speaking up to avoid bad-talking them. We have to be careful to separate the need…Read more Who’s Being Protected?

The Gift of Divorce

My divorce is drawing to a close. Along with the feelings of expectation and anticipation that this long, drawn out process is soon to end, there is anxiety. The anxiety comes from the backlash coming from the last stages. There are still details to be finalized and my ex is not happy about them. The…Read more The Gift of Divorce

It’s Not the Same

I have observed and listened to friends who have been divorced, some because of domestic violence, some for other reasons. What I have concluded is that it is different going through divorce due to abuse compared to other reasons. When a couple separates for a reason other than domestic violence, they can work together, make…Read more It’s Not the Same