Is It Normal?

In many abusive relationships, the abuser is a fabulous person. They can be: fun to be with hard workers great parents supportive friends always helpful volunteer or work at church active in the community publicly affectionate verbally supportive quick with jokes eager to always be with their partner Right up until the moment they aren't.…Read more Is It Normal?

Is Some Abuse Deserved?

The short answer is NO. To be clear, I'm emphatic, non-negotiable, and certain about my opinion on this matter. There is no such thing as "deserved" abuse. Now, there are relationships where the abuse victim finally stands up for themselves and strikes back -- that's called self-defense. And, there are relationships in which there appears…Read more Is Some Abuse Deserved?

Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

The number 1 tool of abusers is isolation. The reason why it is the most used form and usually one of the first forms of abuse is two-fold. First, isolation keeps her feeding off of him. He sets himself up to provide her with her basic needs, emotional needs and define what she should think […]…Read more Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

Anxiety out of … nothing

My child is sick... it's just a common, every day illness - sore throat, fever. It's causing crankiness, irritability, exhaustion and whining. My anxiety rises. They are supposed to go to their father's for an overnight visit tomorrow, and already he has made comments about the sickness. "Oh no, it's our overnight visit this weekend".…Read more Anxiety out of … nothing

It’s All About Control

Where did we get the idea that it was acceptable to control another human being? There are times when we are responsible to control the behavior of others. That's one of the things laws are for. There must be boundaries and restrictions on behavior in order for society to function well, but somehow, somewhere it has…Read more It’s All About Control

It’s Not the Same

I have observed and listened to friends who have been divorced, some because of domestic violence, some for other reasons. What I have concluded is that it is different going through divorce due to abuse compared to other reasons. When a couple separates for a reason other than domestic violence, they can work together, make…Read more It’s Not the Same