Second Chances?

When I left my abusive marriage, it was strongly recommended I give him a second chance. Of course, over the course of our marriage, there were many second chances. Those chances, those attempts to save the marriage, the desperate pleas were unseen by others outside the relationship. I didn't share with people how things truly…Read more Second Chances?

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Saving Abusive Marriage?

This post is about what I think about saving, or even trying to save an abusive marriage. It's my opinion. My perspective. Make of it what you will. Can an abusive marriage be saved? I've heard it can happen. I think it's possible IF the following happen: The abuse is recognized in the beginning of…Read more Saving Abusive Marriage?

Cognitive Dissonance

I came across a post recently at Give Her Wings regarding Cognitive Dissonance (please read it!) and it started me thinking. It struck home for me. I still wonder if there were things I could have done, things I could still do, to help him be a better man, to help him be a better father, to…Read more Cognitive Dissonance

It Takes Two

To an abusers mind, they are not to blame for anything that goes wrong and thus they are not responsible for fixing any problem in their life or relationships. This puts the onus of marital repair on their victim. This mentality is encouraged by a number of things... most marriage self-help books are written to women.…Read more It Takes Two

He Said / She Said

One of the reasons it is difficult to break the silence is because of the lies an abuser spreads regarding their partner. While the campaign to malign your character begins long before the relationship ends, the abuser also continues it long afterwards and will work extra hard to convince professionals and your community that you…Read more He Said / She Said

Suffering for God’s Sake

In my thinking, Christians (in particular) often feel that any abuse experienced is a sign of faith, something we are required to experience and suffer through. There are even verses in the Bible (I use ESV for all quotes) that seem to uphold such a view. For example: Romans 5:3-5: 3 Not only that, but we rejoice…Read more Suffering for God’s Sake