Isolation seems like an obvious warning sign of abuse, and yet it is commonly ignored and missed. Frequently it is believed to be choice of the victim (even by the victim), and not a symptom of abuse, but it is a symptom of abuse. Why is isolation a symptom of abuse? The abuser does…Read more Let’s Talk Isolation
Recently, on Facebook, a question was posed about what factors contributed to women needing to leave a marriage and not have resources to be able to do so. Most of the answers showed that the common belief, is that women have a lack of education (i.e. career to fall back on), and they got married…Read more Who’s Abused?
In many abusive relationships, the abuser is a fabulous person. They can be: fun to be with hard workers great parents supportive friends always helpful volunteer or work at church active in the community publicly affectionate verbally supportive quick with jokes eager to always be with their partner Right up until the moment they aren't.…Read more Is It Normal?
When I left my abusive marriage, it was strongly recommended I give him a second chance. Of course, over the course of our marriage, there were many second chances. Those chances, those attempts to save the marriage, the desperate pleas were unseen by others outside the relationship. I didn't share with people how things truly…Read more Second Chances?
This post is about what I think about saving, or even trying to save an abusive marriage. It's my opinion. My perspective. Make of it what you will. Can an abusive marriage be saved? I've heard it can happen. I think it's possible IF the following happen: The abuse is recognized in the beginning of…Read more Saving Abusive Marriage?
The short answer is NO. To be clear, I'm emphatic, non-negotiable, and certain about my opinion on this matter. There is no such thing as "deserved" abuse. Now, there are relationships where the abuse victim finally stands up for themselves and strikes back -- that's called self-defense. And, there are relationships in which there appears…Read more Is Some Abuse Deserved?
Today's post might be a bit of a rant, but it's what's on my mind, so I hope you bear with me... and I welcome courteous conversation if you want to comment. I talk a lot about the effects of abuse. I've talked about forgiveness, moving on and I've talked a bit about never going…Read more Consequences and Accountability