The Importance of Rest

We need to rest. We are commanded to rest. We neglect rest. Rest is not just getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Rest is taking time away from our normal routines, setting aside a significant amount of time and space to regroup for the coming challenges, to recover from past battles. I am reminded recently,…Read more The Importance of Rest

Abuse and Suicide

Abuse and suicide are extremely intertwined. There are many ways suicide appears in an abusive relationship, but here are a few I have identified: Threats from the abuser that they "can't live without you" -- implied (or stated) that they will kill themselves if you leave. My ex frequently threatened to commit suicide if I…Read more Abuse and Suicide

Things My Abuser Taught Me

While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me

Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

The number 1 tool of abusers is isolation. The reason why it is the most used form and usually one of the first forms of abuse is two-fold. First, isolation keeps her feeding off of him. He sets himself up to provide her with her basic needs, emotional needs and define what she should think […]…Read more Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

Memories

It takes such a little thing to trigger a memory. Some are attached to music, others to actions, and more to words. This is all great and good when it is happy, peaceful, positive memories that show up unannounced... it's not so great when those memories are closer to nightmarish events. For example, when I…Read more Memories

Anxiety out of … nothing

My child is sick... it's just a common, every day illness - sore throat, fever. It's causing crankiness, irritability, exhaustion and whining. My anxiety rises. They are supposed to go to their father's for an overnight visit tomorrow, and already he has made comments about the sickness. "Oh no, it's our overnight visit this weekend".…Read more Anxiety out of … nothing

Comedic Abuse

We live in a society where abuse has become common place, and a subject for comedy. There are many television shows that have normalized domestic violence by making it the brunt of jokes. For example: "Everybody Loves Raymond":  The matriarch, Marie, is abusive to everyone. She disrespects Raymond's wife, insults her husband, infanticizes her children,…Read more Comedic Abuse