Let’s Talk Isolation

Isolation seems like an obvious warning sign of abuse, and yet it is commonly ignored and missed. Frequently it is believed to be choice of the victim (even by the victim), and not a symptom of abuse, but it is a symptom of abuse.   Why is isolation a symptom of abuse? The abuser does…Read more Let’s Talk Isolation

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Is It Normal?

In many abusive relationships, the abuser is a fabulous person. They can be: fun to be with hard workers great parents supportive friends always helpful volunteer or work at church active in the community publicly affectionate verbally supportive quick with jokes eager to always be with their partner Right up until the moment they aren't.…Read more Is It Normal?

Second Chances?

When I left my abusive marriage, it was strongly recommended I give him a second chance. Of course, over the course of our marriage, there were many second chances. Those chances, those attempts to save the marriage, the desperate pleas were unseen by others outside the relationship. I didn't share with people how things truly…Read more Second Chances?

Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

The number 1 tool of abusers is isolation. The reason why it is the most used form and usually one of the first forms of abuse is two-fold. First, isolation keeps her feeding off of him. He sets himself up to provide her with her basic needs, emotional needs and define what she should think […]…Read more Re-Blog: Abusive Isolation

When Abuse Looks Like Love

But they were so much in love! How could there be abuse? Abuse hides behind legitimate, loving actions. (Please remember that abusers can be either male or female!) He enjoys her company, so can't stand to be apart from her He loves her so much, he doesn't want to share her time with others He values…Read more When Abuse Looks Like Love

Why No Contact

It doesn't make sense to a lot of people. It often isn't supported when the decision is made to go no contact. It's hard to maintain. When my best friend left her fiance she did not fully recognize his abusive nature and he sent her regular emails, pretending to care for her and wanting to make…Read more Why No Contact

It’s Not the Same

I have observed and listened to friends who have been divorced, some because of domestic violence, some for other reasons. What I have concluded is that it is different going through divorce due to abuse compared to other reasons. When a couple separates for a reason other than domestic violence, they can work together, make…Read more It’s Not the Same