Recently, on Facebook, a question was posed about what factors contributed to women needing to leave a marriage and not have resources to be able to do so. Most of the answers showed that the common belief, is that women have a lack of education (i.e. career to fall back on), and they got married…Read more Who’s Abused?
Today's post might be a bit of a rant, but it's what's on my mind, so I hope you bear with me... and I welcome courteous conversation if you want to comment. I talk a lot about the effects of abuse. I've talked about forgiveness, moving on and I've talked a bit about never going…Read more Consequences and Accountability
Self-esteem is a dangerous thing to lose. When our self-esteem is low, it affects every relationship we are in. It affects intimate partner relationships, friendships, child-parent relationships, business relationships ... and impacts our ability to build new relationships. When something happens, in life or in relationship, our self-esteem helps define how we react to it.…Read more Gradual Destruction
I read this post on Facebook today: My parents were apparently abusive to me when I was a kid. They made me do household jobs, go to school. gave me a curfew and smacked my backside when I did wrong. They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it- They put…Read more Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.
While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me
The shame an abuse victim feels is not solely because they feel they deserve the abuse. Far too often, the shame felt is because they are embarrassed to have allowed it to happen to them. That they have out themselves in a position where the possibility exists. In addition, we often experience people in our…Read more Not My Shame
It takes such a little thing to trigger a memory. Some are attached to music, others to actions, and more to words. This is all great and good when it is happy, peaceful, positive memories that show up unannounced... it's not so great when those memories are closer to nightmarish events. For example, when I…Read more Memories