Very often I hear of people talking about "knowing your Why", and setting goals - long-term and short-term. This has been challenging for me. I'm learning, now, how to do these things. I'm testing the waters, building life goals, recognizing my personal "why's". Not everyone knows how to do these things, yet too many assume…Read more Future Planning
I'm sitting in my living room. The world outside is calm, cold and snowing. It's calm because the city is 75% shutdown because of Covid-19. There's nothing to do, and nowhere to go. It's a time when we can rest, reset our lives, take time for self-care, an emotional breather. Except... my emotional breather is…Read more Storm in the Calm
I've been grieving the past few weeks. The only thing is, I'm not even certain what I'm grieving. Am I "simply" missing my siblings? Am I grieving the things in my life I'm wishing I had, but don't? Am I grieving things to come? Am I "simply" having a small mental breakdown, or failing to…Read more Welcome 2020
This was shared by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. It's a hard topic to discuss, but I think it's important. Does this mean she hasn't forgiven him? Is there something wrong with her? I welcome your feedback. ================================================= I watched a movie tonight in which an abusive ex-husband was portrayed. It was hard to…Read more I wish… by anonymous
Recently, on Facebook, a question was posed about what factors contributed to women needing to leave a marriage and not have resources to be able to do so. Most of the answers showed that the common belief, is that women have a lack of education (i.e. career to fall back on), and they got married…Read more Who’s Abused?
Today's post might be a bit of a rant, but it's what's on my mind, so I hope you bear with me... and I welcome courteous conversation if you want to comment. I talk a lot about the effects of abuse. I've talked about forgiveness, moving on and I've talked a bit about never going…Read more Consequences and Accountability
Self-esteem is a dangerous thing to lose. When our self-esteem is low, it affects every relationship we are in. It affects intimate partner relationships, friendships, child-parent relationships, business relationships ... and impacts our ability to build new relationships. When something happens, in life or in relationship, our self-esteem helps define how we react to it.…Read more Gradual Destruction
I read this post on Facebook today: My parents were apparently abusive to me when I was a kid. They made me do household jobs, go to school. gave me a curfew and smacked my backside when I did wrong. They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it- They put…Read more Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.
While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me
The shame an abuse victim feels is not solely because they feel they deserve the abuse. Far too often, the shame felt is because they are embarrassed to have allowed it to happen to them. That they have out themselves in a position where the possibility exists. In addition, we often experience people in our…Read more Not My Shame