Breaking Point

What does it take to stop domestic violence? It takes a breaking point. When someone finally leaves an abusive relationship, it is always because they reached their breaking point. This can be something small, like the straw that broke the camels back, that one final act that was just too much. Or, it can be…Read more Breaking Point

Saving Abusive Marriage?

This post is about what I think about saving, or even trying to save an abusive marriage. It's my opinion. My perspective. Make of it what you will. Can an abusive marriage be saved? I've heard it can happen. I think it's possible IF the following happen: The abuse is recognized in the beginning of…Read more Saving Abusive Marriage?

Consequences and Accountability

Today's post might be a bit of a rant, but it's what's on my mind, so I hope you bear with me... and I welcome courteous conversation if you want to comment. I talk a lot about the effects of abuse. I've talked about forgiveness, moving on and I've talked a bit about never going…Read more Consequences and Accountability

Social Failure

I invite you to read this article (it will open in a new window) before continuing to read today's blog. Why do we coddle violent, abusive men? We see it in the news all the time. We see it in our friends, neighbors, family and communities. Someone is revealed as an abuser. Someone is exposed…Read more Social Failure

He Said / She Said

One of the reasons it is difficult to break the silence is because of the lies an abuser spreads regarding their partner. While the campaign to malign your character begins long before the relationship ends, the abuser also continues it long afterwards and will work extra hard to convince professionals and your community that you…Read more He Said / She Said

Why No Contact

It doesn't make sense to a lot of people. It often isn't supported when the decision is made to go no contact. It's hard to maintain. When my best friend left her fiance she did not fully recognize his abusive nature and he sent her regular emails, pretending to care for her and wanting to make…Read more Why No Contact

The Love of a Child

Here is the thing about children. They love their parents unconditionally. A child yearns for the love of both their parents. The children of abusive parents have a very difficult time of it. They also love their parents regardless of any abuse, pain or separation. They want to be loved in return. We need the…Read more The Love of a Child

A New Life Plan

Dec 26 is the anniversary of the day I left my abusive marriage. It's a bittersweet day. There is sorrow for the loss of the dreams and hopes of a lifelong marriage, it was the end of my "life plan". Mostly, it is a day of relief, of promised peace, and freedom from abuse for…Read more A New Life Plan

Who’s Being Protected?

When we divorce with children, there is, justifiably, much concern about bad-talking the other parent to the children. The problem arises in an abusive relationship when the other parent is continuing to hurt the children and we shy away from speaking up to avoid bad-talking them. We have to be careful to separate the need…Read more Who’s Being Protected?