I'm great at building walls. I've become very good at keeping everybody at arms length. I feel very alone. I'm learning to include people in my life again. Abuse victims/survivors have many steps to healing. Sometimes those steps include trusting too easily, which leads to being hurt. Then, they swing the other way to not trust…Read more I Don’t Have to be Alone
I read this post on Facebook today: My parents were apparently abusive to me when I was a kid. They made me do household jobs, go to school. gave me a curfew and smacked my backside when I did wrong. They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it- They put…Read more Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.
Abuse and suicide are extremely intertwined. There are many ways suicide appears in an abusive relationship, but here are a few I have identified: Threats from the abuser that they "can't live without you" -- implied (or stated) that they will kill themselves if you leave. My ex frequently threatened to commit suicide if I…Read more Abuse and Suicide
There is a belief that you are not a victim of domestic violence unless you are killed by it. There is a political correctness emerging that says we must use the term "survivor" instead of victim. This attack against the word "victim" comes from an honest place, it comes from a place of encouraging people…Read more I Am A Victim
While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me
It doesn't make sense to a lot of people. It often isn't supported when the decision is made to go no contact. It's hard to maintain. When my best friend left her fiance she did not fully recognize his abusive nature and he sent her regular emails, pretending to care for her and wanting to make…Read more Why No Contact
It's far too common for victims and survivors of abuse to doubt their memories and experiences. It's as if the horror of abuse is too much for us to fully grasp and own. This is especially true for children who are abused. An abused child often has holes in their memory, for a child who…Read more Know Yourself