Is It Normal?

In many abusive relationships, the abuser is a fabulous person. They can be: fun to be with hard workers great parents supportive friends always helpful volunteer or work at church active in the community publicly affectionate verbally supportive quick with jokes eager to always be with their partner Right up until the moment they aren't.…Read more Is It Normal?

Gradual Destruction

Self-esteem is a dangerous thing to lose. When our self-esteem is low, it affects every relationship we are in. It affects intimate partner relationships, friendships, child-parent relationships, business relationships ... and impacts our ability to build new relationships. When something happens, in life or in relationship, our self-esteem helps define how we react to it.…Read more Gradual Destruction

Abuse and Suicide

Abuse and suicide are extremely intertwined. There are many ways suicide appears in an abusive relationship, but here are a few I have identified: Threats from the abuser that they "can't live without you" -- implied (or stated) that they will kill themselves if you leave. My ex frequently threatened to commit suicide if I…Read more Abuse and Suicide

Comedic Abuse

We live in a society where abuse has become common place, and a subject for comedy. There are many television shows that have normalized domestic violence by making it the brunt of jokes. For example: "Everybody Loves Raymond":  The matriarch, Marie, is abusive to everyone. She disrespects Raymond's wife, insults her husband, infanticizes her children,…Read more Comedic Abuse

Suffering for God’s Sake

In my thinking, Christians (in particular) often feel that any abuse experienced is a sign of faith, something we are required to experience and suffer through. There are even verses in the Bible (I use ESV for all quotes) that seem to uphold such a view. For example: Romans 5:3-5: 3 Not only that, but we rejoice…Read more Suffering for God’s Sake

Actions Speak Loudest

When an abuser is in the honeymoon stage of the abuse cycle, their words are perfect. For some abusers, their words are perfect even when they are in the abuse cycle. An abuser has appearing to be a loving person mastered, it's an art form. Many abusers can insult and compliment their victim in the…Read more Actions Speak Loudest

All the Right Words

No one else will love you. You have too much baggage. F**** off. If you leave me, I'll kill myself. If I can't have you, no one will. You just wanted me for a sperm/egg donor. I'm not sure I love you. I'm only with you until someone better comes along. Why can't you be…Read more All the Right Words