Very often I hear of people talking about "knowing your Why", and setting goals - long-term and short-term. This has been challenging for me. I'm learning, now, how to do these things. I'm testing the waters, building life goals, recognizing my personal "why's". Not everyone knows how to do these things, yet too many assume…Read more Future Planning
Isolation seems like an obvious warning sign of abuse, and yet it is commonly ignored and missed. Frequently it is believed to be choice of the victim (even by the victim), and not a symptom of abuse, but it is a symptom of abuse. Why is isolation a symptom of abuse? The abuser does…Read more Let’s Talk Isolation
We need to rest. We are commanded to rest. We neglect rest. Rest is not just getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Rest is taking time away from our normal routines, setting aside a significant amount of time and space to regroup for the coming challenges, to recover from past battles. I am reminded recently,…Read more The Importance of Rest
Abuse and suicide are extremely intertwined. There are many ways suicide appears in an abusive relationship, but here are a few I have identified: Threats from the abuser that they "can't live without you" -- implied (or stated) that they will kill themselves if you leave. My ex frequently threatened to commit suicide if I…Read more Abuse and Suicide
Abuse starts quietly. Hidden. So subtle you miss it. A couple years ago, one of my best friends started dating a man who she thought was amazing. She was a few years out of her abusive marriage and this new man courted her diligently... except... he badmouthed her family, unfortunately for some legitimate reasons. Instead…Read more The Subtlety of Abuse
It's far too common for victims and survivors of abuse to doubt their memories and experiences. It's as if the horror of abuse is too much for us to fully grasp and own. This is especially true for children who are abused. An abused child often has holes in their memory, for a child who…Read more Know Yourself
After abuse comes the journey of healing. It's a long, and oft times difficult, journey but well worth it in the end. First, know that you can't do it alone. This is not a journey to take on your own. You will need support. Women's shelters often offer free counselling, as well as support groups…Read more What’s Next?