Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.

I read this post on Facebook today: My parents were apparently abusive to me when I was a kid. They made me do household jobs, go to school. gave me a curfew and smacked my backside when I did wrong. They put food on the table and we were expected to eat it- They put…Read more Don’t Call it Abuse… Unless it Is.

Why No Contact

It doesn't make sense to a lot of people. It often isn't supported when the decision is made to go no contact. It's hard to maintain. When my best friend left her fiance she did not fully recognize his abusive nature and he sent her regular emails, pretending to care for her and wanting to make…Read more Why No Contact

The Love of a Child

Here is the thing about children. They love their parents unconditionally. A child yearns for the love of both their parents. The children of abusive parents have a very difficult time of it. They also love their parents regardless of any abuse, pain or separation. They want to be loved in return. We need the…Read more The Love of a Child

Who’s Being Protected?

When we divorce with children, there is, justifiably, much concern about bad-talking the other parent to the children. The problem arises in an abusive relationship when the other parent is continuing to hurt the children and we shy away from speaking up to avoid bad-talking them. We have to be careful to separate the need…Read more Who’s Being Protected?

Generations

  There is a common misconception that if you are abused, then your parents and/or their parents were also; and that your children and grandchildren will also end up as abusers or in abusive relationships too. The flip side of this unfounded premise is that if you are abused, you will become an abuser or…Read more Generations