Relationships

I've been giving a lot of thought to relationships lately. It's been 11 years since my separation, and almost 3 since the divorce was finalized. There are days, I still wonder if I made the right choice. I did my best to choose a husband who was safe, and I failed. He was not safe,…Read more Relationships

Future Planning

Very often I hear of people talking about "knowing your Why", and setting goals - long-term and short-term. This has been challenging for me. I'm learning, now, how to do these things. I'm testing the waters, building life goals, recognizing my personal "why's". Not everyone knows how to do these things, yet too many assume…Read more Future Planning

Inspired by Women

Today is International Women's Day and my best friend posed the question: "Who is your female hero?" It's a good question. Who do we admire? Who inspires us? How many women along our path have given us hope, encouragement and strength on our journey? I'll be honest... my initial response was "you". My best friend inspires…Read more Inspired by Women

Some days ….

Today was a challenging day. It's been 7 years since my separation and I am trying to get the divorce finalized... to be finally, fully, legally free from him. Today we had a mediation meeting at court. Basically we need to settle the financial (child support) portion before we can finalize the divorce. It didn't go…Read more Some days ….

Things My Abuser Taught Me

While I was with my abuser, he had a few (false!) lessons for me to learn. He successfully taught me some of them, and others he failed to teach me before I left him: I'm not valuable or important. I have nothing to say that is of interest or worth to others. I cannot take care of myself…Read more Things My Abuser Taught Me

Crime of Passion

What do you think when you hear of a "Crime of Passion"? What emotions does it bring to mind? Wikipedia defines it as follows: refers to a violent crime, especially homicide, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as sudden rage rather than as a premeditated crime. The…Read more Crime of Passion

The Subtlety of Abuse

Abuse starts quietly. Hidden. So subtle you miss it. A couple years ago, one of my best friends started dating a man who she thought was amazing. She was a few years out of her abusive marriage and this new man courted her diligently... except... he badmouthed her family, unfortunately for some legitimate reasons. Instead…Read more The Subtlety of Abuse

It’s Not Women vs. Men

According to an article at Mint Press News, an incident of domestic violence occurs every 15 seconds against women in the United States. In comparison, the same article shares that an incident of domestic violence occurs every 37.8 seconds against men. (Let's not forget that part of both those statistics is same gender violence.) That's…Read more It’s Not Women vs. Men

It’s All About Control

Where did we get the idea that it was acceptable to control another human being? There are times when we are responsible to control the behavior of others. That's one of the things laws are for. There must be boundaries and restrictions on behavior in order for society to function well, but somehow, somewhere it has…Read more It’s All About Control

Know Yourself

It's far too common for victims and survivors of abuse to doubt their memories and experiences. It's as if the horror of abuse is too much for us to fully grasp and own. This is especially true for children who are abused. An abused child often has holes in their memory, for a child who…Read more Know Yourself